Confession Of A S.M.O.K.E.R

These few days have been suck, something is really really wrong with me . 

Tell me , what is so good about smoking? Is there any good?

Tell me what do younger look up upon smokers? Do they look cooler with those sticks between their fingers and blowing away smokes when they made that O-shaped lip?

I am feeling terrible, really really terrible. I count not describe how suck I feel having blow those smokes from my mouth and feel smelly all over my hair, my clothes and my fingers.

I feel smelly.I feel disgusted with myself.

They say smoking kills, smoking is bad. But what am I doing? Why am I wasting my time having all these smoke breaks and not being able to focus on my desk if I don’t get to kiss one of those sticks?

I think I am ready, I am ready to be vain again. I am ready to be healthy. I am ready to save money.

Why do I love smoking so much?

Smoking is nice, it feels good after a huge meal. I feel like my food are properly digested LOL (that’s what in my head), smoking helps me poop, smoking makes me feel less awkward when I’m alone outside. The feeling gets better every time I wake up, it made me fresher in the morning.

Why am I so scared of quitting?

Some says that I will gain, some really do. My sister for instant, she tried but she had hard time pooping. She had to drink a lot of milk to be able to feel “it’s” coming. One of my favorite people in world, passed away due to TB. Sigh pie. Some cried and then they started smoking again. I am seriously scared.

Why is it good to quit?

Well, the first priority of mine is? Money. I need to save, lots of them. If i were to save up the money I am investing for cigarettes, I would probably save up to $300 a month! That would be $7,200 in 2 years. The right amount I can use for my wedding photography, entertainment and photo shoot! OMG

Second, is health. Studies says that if you want a healthy baby, then you gotta quit waaaaay before you are even pregnant! Too risky for babies I’m telling you. I really need to get my ass to the tracks nearby and tie up my shoelace and get running! (Yes I know that the most difficult part of working out is tying your shoelace!) Having the thoughts of accumulating all those nicotine all these years, so it make sense I gotta sweat it all out right?

Thirdly, the impression I will give if my future in-laws were to find out? I am gonna move to Amy’s house after the wedding. Yes, out of my comfort zone. Where I was allowed to smoke after meal, bringing my ciggy pack and lighter to the toilet and take my own sweet time sitting on the toilet bowl smoking away and play with my phone. No more sharing lighters with my dad, no more ciggy smells across the room. No, nothing like that anymore.

What are my plans now?

Well, first thing first? I’m gonna start it slow.

First stop? Smoke only after meal. Let’s start today.

Clock is showing 3.44pm. The last stick I had was at 2pm just now. I am aiming to smoke only after dinner later, 7pm.

Let’s see. I will update you guys again 🙂

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